I was digging through my email yesterday and saw this. It made me laugh – again. Enjoy…
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use an egg timer.
5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
In life, you only need two tools – WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and does, use the duct tape.
9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Excellent suggestions! Thanks for the laugh.
Yes, haha!! Thanks, Bob.
my pleasure – I laughed out loud when I was re-reading it
Funny!
I have this feeling that #3 would cause other problem!
Good list!
Number 3. Please don’t pass this info on to my 4 or 8 year old son. I am sure it would create a whole new set of much needed simple home remedies.
I won’t
I actually just watched a movie yesterday where one of the characters did that!!
its from Viz…
lool #6 had my rofl. Amazing
#6
My brother once mistook a bottle of laxatives for anti-cough medicine…
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.
This is actually pretty close to what they did before drugs where invented.
A hammer to the top of your head, hard enough so you wouldn´t feel the pain of the tooth being pulled.
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