Being financially responsible typically includes the important legal documents of a will, financial power of attorney, and advanced medical directives.
There are a few more steps you can take beyond the will. Many people do not think through all the little decisions that will need to be made when your time on Earth has ended: a hurting or grieving spouse may not think clearly & the closest relative may be a thousand miles away.
Spending a few hours gathering your documents & sharing your thoughts can be a final blessing to your family and friends.
Article By Cherie
Cherie is an Accredited Financial Counselor® & working on her PhD in Personal Finance.
Service details
Writing down your wishes for funeral services is not just an exercise for the older generation. A brief conversation with your spouse and a few notes with another relative (in case the spouse isn’t available to make decisions) can be a good road map to make things easier during this difficult time. Include preference on burial or cremation, special songs or poems, and final resting place.
Location, location, location
You need to let someone know where to find your valid will. We keep ours in a safety deposit box with one of our parents as a key holder & signer – we double-checked with the bank that they could access the box in time of death.
Some people opt to keep their signed wills at home in a safe, locked file cabinet, or even the mostly fire-proof freezer. Tell a trusted friend or relative where to locate wills easily and quickly.
Guardians and trustees of children
Guardianship and Financial Trusts will be covered in the legal documents. You can provide other details for the guardians and trustees.
For the children’s guardians, write a letter of what you hope and dream about for your children. Mention church sacraments, music lessons, sports participation, summer camp, or trips to grandparents in the summertime.
To the assets’ trustee, detail how you would like the funds to pay or co-pay for cars, computers, proms, college expenses, moving expenses, apartment security deposits, weddings, etc.
Household items
In Heaven, we may no longer need our possessions but someone will have to deal with them on Earth. Write-up how you would like to see this handled.
Give permission to use the estate’s assets to move your grandmother’s Duncan Phyfe table to a relative’s house. Also give permission to donate all the household items that will not be needed by the children and mention your preferred charity.
Create a list of items you want to go to a specific person if not already in the will. Include a list of the items you want kept for your children to have in their adulthood. Describe why the item is important to you and the history behind it – otherwise it’s just another candy dish.
Your notes will be your voice to help make sorting easier.
Financial documents
The mail used to be a tattle-tell of a person’s business. Now, most business is conducted online – including statements of accounts. Create a master list of all companies where you have business for banking, investments, credit cards, mortgages, monthly household expenses, and insurance.
If you keep paper statements, include this storage location when you let someone know where to find your will. We always keep them in a bright green folder on my closet shelf. Considering I’ve moved 8 times, this is consistent from house to house.
Online identities
We are increasing our online identities every day. Beyond the online access to financial accounts, consider updating a list of usernames and passwords for all social media. You may not live forever on this Earth, but your facebook and LinkedIn page just might. This can be as simple as sealing up the list and placing with the wills.
The “Talk”
We are fairly frank about estate planning in our family since my parents have a family business and my husband was in a dangerous occupation with the military. Our young adult children get a quick update on things several times a year.
Do your adult children know where to find your papers? Do they know your wishes?
If you haven’t discussed these things with your parents, why not let them know you are doing this yourself and ask if they have anything they would like to share with you?
Your final gift
Dave Ramsey discusses many of these topics as part of a Legacy Drawer – the final gift to your family. The biggest investment of time will be the first time you tackle these issues. An annual update should take only an afternoon.
Have you made a will? What other preparations have you made for leaving Earth? Meet us in the comments.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Great article on a very important subject. I put together my own three-ring binder for my wife, just in case something happens to me. In fact, I have created a tool to help families organize all of their important information that would need to be passed on to others. The tool includes templates for your letter of instructions, your estate documents, your important personal contacts, your current financial picture, and your insurances and other miscellaneous items. Thanks Cherie for bringing up an important topic.
Derek – Great suggestions to put everything in notebook for a spouse.
As many of us know, it’s key that our spouses know all the financial information even if they aren’t involved in every transaction.
Just remember to have someone outside your household privy to where to find the notebook in case of an emergency.
Talking to family is crucial. My family does not talk about “these things”. My mother-in-law knew she had cancer. We all want to live through situations like that, but talking about what might happen and setting things in order helps when we don’t live through it. My mother-in-law passed away without discussing her possessions. The siblings took and the husband (not the children’s father) gave. “They” thought that the children getting the insurance policy was “enough” for them. A phrase I heard during this time was, “This is what she would have wanted.” It is easier to know what someone wants if it is spoken or written and placed in a pre-arranged location. It’s easier when things are done decently and in order. It is also more pleasing to God.
jjy – Thanks for sharing. It’s very difficult to get older family members to talk about these details. Many don’t want to think about death and others are skeptical of adult children’s motives. Timing is crucial – and can be easier if brought up before a medical diagnosis or crisis happens.
We are witnessing intentional poor planning two houses down on our street. Widower who vocally didn’t care about his possessions (which were many in a hoarding situation) or his children or step-children. No will. The house sat empty, neighbors mowed the yard for over a year while the courts sorted it out.
House continued in decline and is listed at 30% below average market – which will hurt many homeowners in our neighborhood.
Planning and details is truly a gift, a blessing, and a sign of good stewardship.
Your last line on that reply is great, “Planning and details is truly a gift, a blessing, and a sign of stewardship”. There are a couple simple steps to be taken that can really lower the stress levels of an already extremely stressful situation (declining health, unexpected loss, terminal disease, etc). The key is to have a open dialogue, which can be very tough for a number of families, as @jjy explained. This necessity is hitting many families right now as baby boomers are starting to come across these issues with their elderly parents.
{ 1 trackback }