Stop paying CC and save??

[Blessed2000]

This is my first post on this site, but I wanted to get everyone's take on this situation my husband and I are going through. My husband is not working, but on unemployment and told me that I need to stop paying the minimum payment on my credit cards (totaling around $700/month) to save money in the event I lose my job. I've been on my job for nearly 3 years and can pay my credit cards (all of which have a 5% interest rate or less and will be paid off in 3 years).

This has been a stuggle in my marriage, because my husband feels that I'm not being a submissive/obedient wife for not going on withi his plan and stop paying my credit cards. I have a decent credit score (just over 700), and I understand that times have changed and its important to have cash saved, however, I feel that since the credit cards are in my name and I created that debt, I'm obligated to pay these off and honor my word. My husband has already stopped paying his credit cards and saving his money and he feels that I'm not will to submit to what God told him to do financially. I'm torn. Can any one offer any insight from a Christian perspective on how to best handle debt/finances in a marraige? Thank you.

[4jacks]

Hi Blessed, that is a really tough situation. I definitely understand your difficulty in making a decision of this. I would strongly recommend for you and your husband to really get on the same page financially and to follow a good plan. Dave Ramsey has the Baby steps, Crown Financial has the Money Map. Both are really good.

As far as your particular situation goes, it's tough, You could be right or your husband could be right. It really depends on how you are both doing as a whole and how likely your potential layoff is. If you know that there is a 90% chance of you being laid off, then yeah, you can stop paying and save up for the emergency. If there is no chance of you being laid off, then continue to make minimum payments and use any extra to save up an emergency fund.

It's also tough, becuase even though you may have those cards in your name, you and your husband became one and should set the goal to share finances 100%. Maybe not jump into it cold turkey, but set that goal. If you are paying these credit card bills, and leaving him to pay the mortgage, cars, utilities, etc, which he is falling behind on. Then he's right, you need to stop paying the credit cards and start paying the house and lights, so you have a place to live. But if all the minimums are being paid, then he also has to understand your desire as a christian to repay your debts. And you can't just go back on your word to repay your debts becuase it's no longer convienant, or becuase you've made mistakes in the past and didn't save.

Hope that helps.

[KrozFan]

It's also tough, becuase even though you may have those cards in your name, you and your husband became one and should set the goal to share finances 100%.

This was my first thought also, you need to get on the same page. Not have "my" money and "his" money, have "our" money.

Anyway not having all the facts I would say you should keep paying your debt, don't trash your credit over this. Do you have money left over every month to help save so you can do both? Like 4jacks said though if there's a good chance you're going to get laid off then save, but I'm thinking your husband is just panicing a little.

[Blessed2000]

Thank you for your responses. There's very little chance I will get laid off from my job. Currently, I'm paying the major bills, rent my husbands car note, my cc bills, etc. I'm stressed because my husband says that I'm not being submissive to what his financial plan is and I'm torn. I have the money to continue to pay my cc bills, with maybe $200 left per month that I can put in savings, however if I stopped paying my cc bills, I could put back significantly more. Hope that provides some clarity.

[pochax]

hi blessed (and since you know Christ, i know you truly are!),
i agree with my brothers above - ultimately you both should think of the finances as one. in regards to your husband feeling disrespected by you not submitting (and thus you not being biblically obedient per Eph 5), it is a complex issue. your allegiance first and foremost is the God Himself (moreso than your husband although i am not belittling the marriage covenant). if you truly feel you are dishonoring God by not paying the CC debt, you need to convey that to your husband. if he is also submitting to God, he will recognize that you are just trying to honor God. since paying the CC debt is not "life-critical" or is putting your family into dire poverty (as 4jacks noted above, paying for food, clothing, shelter, etc.), i can't see whether you pay as a black/white issue and i honestly see that you could be honoring God either way (assuming you will ultimately pay off the debt eventually even if you stop doing minimums now). your credit score (to me) is not the priority here but that's my opinion. i could understand if you are trying to protect it because you plan to get a new mortgage or loan soon for some reason. But back to the original point, for me, (as a husband) submitting to your husband assumes your husband is recommending a course of action that, in your conscience and heart that is trying to obey God, can see as godly as well.

[Allan Henry]

If one uses the right service, they can also get help in reducing their debts. These services can help by requiring creditors to provide back up that their claims are legitimate and valid. By doing this one can gain the upper hand when dealing with a creditor which can make negotiations go a bit smoother. There are many laws that effect these situations and you need someone who is familiar with all the laws and such. Bankruptcy firms and lawyers generally only know the laws in regards to bankruptcy and sometimes this is not sufficient. Finding a service that has experience in dealing with these situations can be a real asset to helping you get yourself back on track.

[Blessed2000]

One thing I would also like to note is that my husband wants me to stop paying my ccs completely, not just until we start bringing in more income. He feels that we could eventually negotiate lower balances with creditors/collectors and the negative credit will fall off after 7 years. This is a big reason why I'm not comfortable woth moving forward with that decision. Plus with employers looking at credit history as a determining factor on hiring you, I don't want that in addition to us not being able to qualify for a home or a car within the next 5 to 7 years to negatively affect us.

[KrozFan]

One thing I would also like to note is that my husband wants me to stop paying my ccs completely, not just until we start bringing in more income. He feels that we could eventually negotiate lower balances with creditors/collectors and the negative credit will fall off after 7 years.

In my opinion (and it's only my opinion) that's dishonest, and not what God would want you to do. You made an agreement and you should honor that. Your husband seems to have some other end game in mind here. Maybe you should go sit down with your pastor and talk about this. If your husband thinks God is telling him to do this and is getting angry at you for not being the submissive wife I think he has some of the wrong ideas.

[tim_v]

In my opinion (and it's only my opinion) that's dishonest, and not what God would want you to do. You made an agreement and you should honor that. Your husband seems to have some other end game in mind here. Maybe you should go sit down with your pastor and talk about this. If your husband thinks God is telling him to do this and is getting angry at you for not being the submissive wife I think he has some of the wrong ideas.

I agree.