25 Free Ways to Show Your Husband You Love Him

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Several months ago I wrote the post 25 Free Ways to Show Your Wife You Love Her. That post had such an overwhelming response, and we got so many requests for a husband version, that here I am again.

I recently had an exchange with Dr. Harvey Yoder, licensed marriage and family therapist and author of Lasting Marriage: The Owners’ Manual on the subject of love, marriage, and the reasons couples divorce. In that interview Yoder said, “If we want what dating couples have we have to do what dating couples do.” He believes loving behavior sends an emotional message to a partner that, in turn, begets loving feelings.

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The Five Love Languages

If you recall, I mentioned in the “wife post” that according to Dr. Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages, people understand emotional messages from others in five different ways. These love languages, as he calls them, are quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Chapman insists that in order for your spouse to understand the feelings that you are trying to convey, you must speak his love language.

So once again I’d like to offer you five ways to show your spouse that you love him for each of those five love languages. Because, as Yoder says, if we want to cultivate those loving feelings, we need to do what dating couples do. And I’m not so sure that dating couples spend their precious few moments together talking about the kids, why the toilet isn’t flushing right, or how much they can afford to spend on a new dishwasher.

Quality Time

1. When the weekend comes, ask him what he wants to do. Leave it wide open with no expectations. Just go along for the ride.

2. Get a sitter for the weekend. If you can’t afford one, call on Grandma or a trusted friend. Turn off the phones and the computers and spend time together. It’s not so important what you do, as long as you are together.

3. Rent a movie for the kids and while they are busy, serve dessert and coffee in your room. See what develops.

4. Help him clean the garage . . . don’t run to the mall! Spend that time together and then it will get done in half the time — freeing up the afternoon for more together time.

5. Establish a regular time to get exercise together. Whether you walk, ride bikes, or visit the gym together, you not only have an accountability partner for your exercise program, you are together.

Words of Affirmation

6. Put love notes in his lunch box or briefcase. A scripture verse to encourage, a prayer, or just an “I Love You” will make his day.

7. Send him text messages or emails throughout the day. My husband and I love to use the smiley emoticons on our phones to make each other laugh.

8. Write your husband an old-fashioned letter. Choose beautiful stationery and the perfect pen. After penning those loving, encouraging words, spritz a little of his favorite perfume on the page. Decorate the envelope with Victorian stickers or rubber stamps. Then mail it to his office. It will definitely make his co-workers wonder.

9. When he has a tough day at the office, encourage him. Rather than pointing out his shortcomings or telling him what he could have done differently, tell him he is the best at what he does. Build him up without offering advice. Let him know you will pray for him and follow-up on the issue.

10. Pray for him. Daily. And tell him that you are. Buy The Power of the Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian and use it.

Gifts

11. Few men will take the time to add music and photos to their phones, so do it for him. Download his favorite music and photos of you and family on his MicroSD card. Then he’s sure to always have pictures of you and the kids to share with others.

12. Make him a gift. Do you knit or crochet? A scarf or socks would be great. Is scrapbooking your thing? Fashion a personalized picture frame, put your picture in it, and give it to him to take to the office. Create something specifically for him.

13. Do you still have your class ring? Put it on a chain and give it to him to wear under his shirt.

14. Make him a coupon book. Include coupons that allow him to choose the TV shows to watch for the evening. Include a few that offer to do his chores for him, like mowing the grass or taking out the trash. Think of things that would really bless him and include them.

15. Frame a memento. Several years ago I found a patent of my father-in-law’s in a box of papers in the attic. For Christmas, I had it framed with a photograph of the invention and gave it to my husband for Christmas. You can do the same thing with other mementoes. Does he have any grade-school artwork, his sports jersey from high school, or remnants from a baseball card collection? Have is precious item framed and hang it where the entire family can admire it.

Acts of Service

16. If your husband is responsible for the mowing, mow the grass. If cleaning out the car is his job, do that. Pick one thing every week or so and just do it to bless him.

17. Set up a guy’s night with his buddies. Call his friends and tell them to meet him at the local steak house or bowling alley. Kiss him on the cheek when he goes out the door and tell him to have a good time.

18. Fix whatever is broken. Don’t make a “honey do” list, or nag him to do something that you are perfectly capable of doing yourself. He’s a busy guy. Grease that squeaky car door. Pour the drain opener down the drain. Paint the porch rail. You can do it.

19. While he’s taking his Sunday afternoon nap, clean out his car. Don’t just wash the outside, remove all the trash, wipe down the dash, and vacuum it. When he goes out Monday morning to go to work, he’ll be surprised.

20. Make him his favorite dessert. Keep it a surprise and serve while he’s watching his favorite evening show.

Physical Touch

21. Kiss him good-bye in the morning — every morning. Kiss him hello in the evening — every evening. Kiss him goodnight — every night. (Repeat from the other post, but it goes both ways.)

22. Institute “couch time.” When he comes home from work, let the kids know that his first 15 minutes are yours, on the couch, holding hands. Don’t allow interruptions. After a while, they will get it.

23. Rub his back at the computer. Are you walking down the lane? Hold his hand. Grasp every opportunity to reach out and touch him.

24. Give him a feet rub. What man can resist having all the kinks worked out of his feet? If he’s especially ticklish, do it with the socks on.

25. Move your seat at the table from the opposite end to next to him. That way you can hold hands when you pray, play footsie under the table, or just stare into each other’s eyes.

Those are 25 ways to tell your husband you love him — for free. And I’m sure that you can come up with a lot more. If so, please share them in the comments.














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25 Comments
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  1. These are great ideas, Carol, thank you!

  2. Oh man, it would be great if my wife cleaned out my truck! Or the foot rub! I’d be so grateful to her forever!

  3. Thanks for these suggestions. I will try them on my hubby. I’m sure he will appreciate it.

  4. These are wonderful ideas, Carol. So simple, yet all full of meaning. We have tea together every evening…we started doing it occasionally, and now it’s a daily habit that we both look forward to-and miss if we have a meeting (or company)-thanks for sharing.

  5. Thank you for this article! So often we get caught up in the day to day and forget how EASY it is to bless our spouse! THANK YOU for these suggestions-easy to incorporate and low to NO cost that will no doubt have a lasting impact on our marriage!

    • One of the biggest foxes in our lives is being too busy to take the time for another person…especially our spouse.

  6. What a great collection of ideas. I love the suggestion to leave notes in his lunchbox. I do this on a regular basis. I write him a note and wrap it around something a little special in his lunch. A handwritten note of encouragement and love wrapped around a few handmade cookies can make anyone’s day better!

    • Wonderful idea, Jennifer. My daughter will also leaves notes in Daddy’s lunchbox. He cherishes them, and she is practicing for when she’s packing her husband’s lunchbox.

  7. That’s a long list of wonderful ideas! Thank you for compiling them for us Carol! All married couples need to pay attention to their relationships. These are good suggestions. ~Katie

  8. These are great ideas! Thank you for sharing. I like the idea of homemade gifts

  9. It is so good to keep in mind that there are many different ways to show love. Thank you for your inspiring post.

  10. LOVE THESE! So simple, yet so easy to forget, too. My husband shows me he loves me in so many ways – it took me several years to figure it out!!! Today he gave me a lovely card, with a nice bit of spending money (hey, $20 is like a hundred to me!) and we shared coffee and talked this morning. I really like him a lot! Thanks for the tips!

  11. Not just notes, either, Karen. Try Hershey Kisses or other little treats, too.

  12. Agree, Gretchen. Unfortunately, in the winter, he’s on his exercise bike and I’m in the chair. :( But at least we’re together.

  13. This is a wonderful reminder of how to cherish your husband. Ver important and a great reminder for me

  14. I just read the similar articles for husbands, all good stuff. If I can jump on a soapbox for a minute, I would like to add something.
    In the grand design of creation, relationship is the foundation. God created us because He is love and wanted someone to love. All throughout the New Testament marriage is compared to salvation. Christ loved us before we loved Him. He gave up everything to do what was best for us.
    For a Christian marriage to work the way God designed, it has to be the same. Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church, His bride. Our wives are designed to respond to what is given to them. Men are designed to give to them. Give them a house, they make a home. Give them your love, they give it back magnified. Even in the physical sense, they give us families.
    My point? Every man lives in the marriage he has created. You wife responds to the love, or neglect, or abuse, or whatever by giving it back. Love her first. Do good for her first. Eventually, she will desire to do all these things for you. Doing things for her just to get a response isn’t what love is about. Don’t expect anything, just do it because you love her. It is the best way to live. I promise. I have lived on both sides of that fence. This side is better.
    Done with the soapbox now. Thanks.

  15. Christina Laiche

    Thank you Carol, as a Mother of 6, I am forgetting how to be a wife it seems sometimes. My husband is away from home on tour 290 days out of the year, and I am drained when he comes home from being Mommy & Daddy, this truly inspired me to find time to spend together. It seems like the kids and I want all of Daddy’s time when he is home, I hate to take away from the kids, again this has given me inspiration, I will add this to my daily goals, and enrich these values more in my life. My husband is incredible and our relationship is amazing, so I am truly blessed, but my husband deserves more from me :) Thanks again!

    • Thanks for sharing your heart, Christina. I’m glad that I could be an encouraging voice in your day. Blessings to you.

  16. I love the tips!!! With a new baby and both of working at home, your post made me realize that although we are together everyday, we are not really “together”. We are so busy with chores, work, taking care of our kids needs and we sit beside each other but busy facing the computer. I remember my husband loves to go on cruises and we love a seafood restaurant port canaveral area. I guess it’s not too late to re-kindle those moments. Thanks for the eye opener. :)

  17. When I make my husband’s lunch, I write out a special scripture on a note card. He loves it. There was one morning I wasn’t feeling well, and I forgot to write the card, he called me at lunch to make sure I was okay. :)

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