If you’re newly married, it can be especially difficult to come to terms on what your budget should entail. You might set your clothing budget for $100/month, while your spouse can get by with that old pair of jeans and raggedy t-shirt. How will you ever come to agreement?
Or maybe you’ve tied the knot years ago . . . but still argue about where your dollars would be best spent. You’ve tried a budget before, but it was too loose and fell apart after a couple of months. Is there any hope for you after all these years?
Budgeting can seem like a burden to many people. Couple that with having to communicate with another human being about it, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. Sometimes people have to start by giving it up to the Lord:
Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. -Psalm 55:22
Whatever your situation, THERE IS HOPE. God cares for those who are actively searching for truth, pursuing his calling, and improving their lives. Check out these encouraging bible verses for more.
Start With The Basics
I’m convinced that the #1 hindrance to starting a budget is the perceived amount of work that might be involved. To overcome this, one of the best things you can do is get a pad of paper and pencil and quickly jot down any expense categories that you may have. Don’t think too hard about it. Just write until your mind is drained. This will be a great starting point from which you can create or copy from something more organized.
Don’t do this alone. Make sure you both sit down and work on brainstorming any expenses you have. Surely, one will think of items another hasn’t. You’ll find that doing this will open the doors of communication so that you can clearly define your finances together.
Talk It Through
If you want to create a strong budget, you’re going to have to spend on paper only what you bring into the household. This may seem like common sense to many, but it is so often overlooked. One way Courtney and I do this in our own finances is we spend this month’s income next month. That way, we know exactly how much money we have to spend for each month. Every dollar is given a name and told where to go! You might not be able to do this at first, but spending this month’s income next month is a great way to not spend more than you earn – especially if you’re on a variable income.
Once you know how much you have to spend within a given month, make a list of prioritized expenses. One idea is to make an extra copy of your expenses list and have your spouse number in order of importance where you should spend your money. Doing the same yourself, you can compare and contrast where each of you place importance. Talk about these differences, and work together as a team to come to a finalized list.
Last Thoughts
How a couple handles money tells a lot about their relationship as a whole. If you’re struggling with money, I challenge you to look at other areas in your relationship to see if you need work in those areas as well.
If you’re having trouble talking with your spouse about money and aren’t sure how to approach the topic, start small. The last thing you want to do is overwhelm your spouse and scare them. Instead, have a casual conversation about money. Start by asking them if there is anything YOU can do to help with the financial situation you’re in. Don’t be pointing fingers. Begin with yourself – how you can improve.
Soon, you’ll be communicating about your finances and find ways to work together to create a better future. It won’t always be easy, but taking these first steps is a crucial part of the process.
Do you struggle with your spouse about the budget? What are some ways you can work together so that you can be on the same page? Meet us in the comments!
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
When we make our budget, we make sure to put some “Miscellaneous” wiggle room in there. It helps us to not sweat the small stuff that we might have missed.
Budgeting is a hard task for some, my wife and I have about got a hold of the whole thing, one year in and getting better every day. Great tips John! God is amazing! He always provides, and guides if you let him.
My wife and I have been working on cutting unneccesary items out of our spending–pointing our fingers at ourselves instead of each other. We also have figured out what we need each week, and that is what goes into our checking account for weekly spending–the rest goes into our savings, which we use to pay bills. Communicating about finances with your spouse is very important in developing a healthy relationship. Great article!
The FH and I have set individual budgets and proposed future budgets. It was actually part of our counseling but would have done it anyway.
I’ll be watching the comments and the advice of those that have already walked this path!
Kita
I completely agree with your last thoughts on this article. Relationship problems are one of the number one causes of a couples money problems. Always let your spouse have a vote in the budget making process.
Thanks for the good read!
Regardless of what level of unity there is about the finances in the marriage, I believe we each are accountable to God for our role in it. I have struggled for many years with my husband’s leadership in this area and am just now understanding that if God gives me the wisdom I need I am to be faithful with and obey it – I can no longer use my husband as an excuse as to why I don’t do what God asks of me. When I do what is right, God will do what is best.
I ,also , agree with your last thoughts on this article. “Relationship problems are one of the number one causes of a couples money problems. Always let your spouse have a vote in the budget making process “.My spouse and I we have been together for almost twenty eight years .we have done a lot great things together such as one saving account ,one checking where my income is directly deposited .just to name a few .By reviewing our expenses and savings habit ,I realize that we expend way too much and there is no plan for retirement .Now she seem to be tired with the budgeting she has her own checking account and deliberately refuses to spend time to work that out.If budgeting is time consuming ,I am planing to give some slack do you think is good idea?.If you disagree ,what would you suggest?
I have a question rather than a comment.
My wife and I have seperate banks and bank accounts.
The question: Should we let each other know before hand, when we are “about” to spend money from the other’s account?
Alexander, I recommend combining accounts and staying in constant communication about spending decisions. Hope that helps!
I have question ranther than comment.
I have a greter salary compare to my husband and he has another kids with his previous partner. Do i need to to tell him how much my net salary before we spend and paying accounts?
I plan to have personal savings account for future . Do ineed to inform Him?
Please advise me. I have so many questions in mind that need to be answer.