Seeking acceptance by trying to impress others
I remember when I was 10 years old and I tight-rolled my pants (see image to the right) because my friends did – don’t laugh. I didn’t really think that much about whether it was a good idea or not. Or even if I would look back some years later and laugh. I pretty much just did it because everyone around me was doing it.
I can say the same thing with buying an Adidas jacket and about 300 other things from when I was in grade school. Thinking back, I know how much I longed to be accepted by those around me. I wanted their approval and I did everything in my power to avoid not fitting in – even if it meant tight-rolling my pants!
“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.” Proverbs 29:25 (NIV)
The funny thing is that even as we grow older, it can be easy to succumb to those same desires to impress others. Except for most adults this now means spending an extra $20,000 they don’t have to buy a little bit nicer car than the neighbors. This disfunction even has a name – “Keeping up with the Joneses“.
Trying to impress others can be very expensive!
My church is located between two main roads and so often times cars will pass through to get from one road to the next. The complex is fairly large, so it is probably about 400-500 yards between the two main roads.
Well, not too many months ago, there was a pickup football game going on at our soccer field at church. While they were playing a guy and his young son pulled in to pass from the one road to the next. They probably would have gone unnoticed, except he was driving a $250,000 Lamborghini. So of course, the football game came to a halt as everyone stared at the car that cost more than many of their houses. The guy driving noticed all the onlookers and decided to put on a little show for the spectators by showing them what the car could do.
I am not sure if the driver had passed through before, but there are quite a few sharp turns, so driving anything over 25 mph probably isn’t safe. As you can probably guess, the driver slammed on the gas and looked really cool for about 2 seconds until he slammed into a curb that catapulted the car about 3 feet in the air. Thankfully the driver and his young son were safe, but the car wasn’t so lucky.
Being a guy I understand the male ego thing a little bit, and I am sure that had a part to play in his wanting to impress others. But the sad irony is that had he just driven the speed limit, he would have looked a lot cooler than he did totalling a $250,000 car.
Testing our motives
I have noticed that as I grow in my walk with God, He has helped me not to care as much about what other’s think. My assumption is that we will always have a longing for acceptance by our peers, but just like we teach our kids, our decisions shouldn’t be based on that. When I am making a purchase or any other decision, I have found that asking myself if it is to impress others or to please God is a normally a good test of my motives. For me that is usually an easy way to find the right answer.
What about you – how do you resist the temptation of seeking to impress others?
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
This is very difficult because a lot of times it is heavily influenced from friends. If you go group shopping, or one friend has something you would like, you are more likely to spend. Tough habit to break.
I laugh only because I used to do similar things.
This verse is a cure all for me…For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ. Gal 1:10
I find that I tend to withdraw from friends who expect me to keep up with the group. I do have a group of friends who get pedicure and manicures and spend a ton on clothing. However, they don’t expect me to and don’t put me down for not wanting to spend my money on such things.
Slightly off-topic, but I just recently thought about how I had tight-rolled my own pants in junior high but failed to notice it had gone out of style until someone started making fun of my pants a few years later. I never did quite get fashion.
Maybe the application is…trying to impress others will leave you constantly spending more to keep up with ever-changing trends.
Wait, tight rolling your pants isn’t in style anymore? Next thing you’re gonna tell me is that acid washed jeans and those hypercolor heat sensitive shirts are no longer cool either.
Seriously though, good reminder about how we need to stay grounded in our faith, and not try to keep up with others that surround us and accumulate things that in the grand scheme of things are meaningless.
I completely agree, but this is something I struggle with. I like to be the best at things. I’m competitive, and I think a lot about how I’m perceived. It’s something I’m working on;) Nice post.
first, i want to be like you when i grow up; your website and blogs are my dream job (yes, i know you’ve shown how to do it and i am in the study phase–hehe).
i tell people all the time, i don’t have to keep up with the jones’; i like being a johnson. i tell the kids to think the same way. don’t think about what others have, but think of what God wants for you, what you need and then what you want. i have everything i need and am blessed to have some of the things i want.
then i look at the end result. several friends have just purchased cars; my car is paid for. i want a new car, but i want to be debt free more! so when we go out i let them drive so i get the feel of being in a new car–lol.
Tight rolling your pants?? Ok, I did the same thing. It was cool at the time.
Great post, this is something I struggle with all the time as I find myself looking at impressing others sometimes more than I am concerned about pleasing God.
Greed and coveting can be a very blinding sin. Thanks for the reminder and your honesty.
I completely agree. Trying to impress someone by spending money is not a good thing to do. Impress them by showing restraint and being frugal instead.
I purchase most of my clothes second hand. Guess what? I still try to find things to impress people. I look at the brand, care about the color, and will prefer shirts without stains. Eventually, we all find our personality. People know I shop second hand and expect to me to show off what I picked up recently. If your going to impress people you might as well impress them with your frugality! Once you create your persona then its all downhill from there. By the way, I dress professionally. I don’t look like I slept in my clothes or anything crazy like that I’m just allocating more of my money to things that make a greater impact in God’s kingdom.
I used to be real bad about this. I was always trying to keep up with everyone else. Once I became a Dad is when I finally found my true north and started seeing the bigger financial picture.