Comments on: Marriage finances: joint vs. separate checking accounts

By: Crystal

Crystal — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 03:34:16 +0000

We have two joint accounts. One for bills and one for expenses. Then we each have a separate checking account. Mostly my husband saves his money and I spend mine. I am working on managing my personal spending money better. We talk about it and he helps me. He is a great saver. We work together. We really do not have a “formal” budget. We just have a rule to have “money at the end of the month.” Mostly it goes to investing. We also keep a prioritized list of “nice-to-haves” so that when we are blessed enough to have a “bonus”, we know exactly what we will use it on.

By: Dwight

Dwight — Sat, 20 Nov 2010 03:52:55 +0000

Me and the wife have decided to keep separate accounts but we work together constantly in personal finance and save independently but with one goal in mind.

Dwight Anthony

By: Dane

Dane — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 03:39:40 +0000

I’m engaged to be married and recently some of our friends mentioned we should have a joint account because it’s biblical. From what I’ve read, I disagreed. I get the union represented in marriage, but I’m pretty adamant about keeping separate accounts.
My fiancee, whom I dearly love, isn’t so smart with money, has bad credit, and doesn’t care much for saving, quickly jumped on the idea and feels it’s a slap in the face that I want to maintain separate accounts – She works for my business and I pay her as her sole source of income.
I, on the other hand, am smart with money, save relentlessly, and feel it is my huge responsibility to be able to provide for her for the long term (particularly because my parents divorced, citing $$ as a main reason) and I’m determined that that will never be the case for us.

Please reply! I’d love your input!

By: Eve

Eve — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 22:15:56 +0000

My husband and I have been together 5 years, we have separate accounts and money is not an issue! We split bills and everything that is for both of us. When it comes to buying things that I want then I spend my money, if he wants something then he spends his money. It has never been a problem, we never agreed on doing it like this but it works out great!

By: LRGCHE

LRGCHE — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 12:17:16 +0000

Bobby, I sincerely apologize. You are correct, I don’t know you and shouldn’t have been so judgmental based only on 2 comments.

Here is what I should have said:
Marriage is about union, two people coming together as one family unit. Which in my opinion, includes the finances. Having separate accounts, where each one of you “do what you need to do” sounds like a lot of individualism, separation, and altogether divided situation. This is my opinion.

I have a very close friend who has 2 checking accounts, so I asked him how they make it work. The accounts they have are not his account and her account though. One account is there bill pay account, where all household, recurring bills are paid, while the other one is pretty much their disposable income where they pull some out for savings, put some into accumulation funds, etc.

Maybe something like this would work in your situation. At any rate, I believe you need to sit down and express to your wife how much you love her, and that your reluctance to join accounts has nothing to do with your relationship, it just caught you by surprise and wasn’t how you parents handled money. Ask her what her concerns are, what’s her motivation for joining the accounts, and how she purposes that you handle financial decisions together as a couple. If you want to get your marriage off the rocks, you will need to address her concerns and worries.

I hope this was a much better reply and again I sincerely apologize for my rash and irresponsible previous reply.

By: Bobby

Bobby — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 21:45:28 +0000

Your reply was more than harsh, it was insulting to me. You don’t even know me like that. If I wanted my mother, then I would have married my mother. I was saying that it happened to them, nothing more than that. My marriage is on the rocks, (so what) its good to know that I put my business on this site for the WRONG reasons.

By: LRGCHE

LRGCHE — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 11:14:27 +0000

For some couples it works, in your case it appears this is not the best solution from your wife’s point of view.

This may sound harsh, but only based on the few short sentences you have written…If you are expecting you wife to be just like your mother, you may have other, bigger marriage issues than joint checking accounts.

Good luck Bobby!

By: Bobby

Bobby — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 01:56:10 +0000

My parents were together for over 20 years and they never had a account together. If it worked for them , then it should work for us.

By: LRGCHE

LRGCHE — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 18:47:56 +0000

Bobby,
The line about “you do what you need to do” is all well and good when your single, but you decided she was worth marrying, that means she is worth sharing your life with, which is much bigger than money, once you tie the knot it “should” become OUR money, not your money and my money, my account and your account, my bills and your bills, as long as this attitude of separation exists then you are really just roommates living together, in my opinion. Why not join the accounts, is there a trust issue?

By: Bobby

Bobby — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 04:42:05 +0000

My wife and I had a long discussion tonight and she want us to have a joint account. But I’m on a fixed income and it goes directly to my personal account to use to pay bills, etc. But she believes it would benefit because we don’t have anything together. We have been married 14 months. I believe that you do what you need to do to take care of bills and such. I would pay certain bills, and she pays certain bills out of each separate accounts. After I told her that I’m not doing the joint account, she got so mad at me that she won’t talk to me. Now I’m in the dogghouse, and my marriage is on the rocks. What should I do about this situation? Reply back.