Comments on: Premarital Financial Counseling: Questions To Ask

By: Rev.Chalton Ochola

Rev.Chalton Ochola — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 13:23:21 +0000

Your materials are precise, comprehensive and to the point.
Kindly send me some books on the same which can help me in my counseling work at the Kenya Polytechnic University College.
God bless you abundantly,
Chalton

By: Joe Plemon

Joe Plemon — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 17:36:46 +0000

@Mary,
Sorry for the taking so long to respond…I somehow missed seeing your comment until now.
It is tough not being a mother-in-law “meddler” when you can see your kids walking into a storm. My experience is that people (especially children) can’t be helped unless they want help. I would therefore offer to share some of your thoughts with them. If they accept, you can voice your concerns and ask them what their plans are for such things as daily living. If they could only work on a budget, most of your concerns would become evident without you needing to point them out. If they are not interested in help, they will learn any way (like most of us did), but experience. I hope this helps.

@Minda,
Great tip…about tithing. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it myself, but tithing should definitely be discussed.

@Kimberly,
I am glad this list of questions helps. I am not ordained, but my pastor has me do the premarital finance counseling portion for those whom he is going to marry. I use the very same questions.

By: Kimberly

Kimberly — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 15:02:43 +0000

As a pastor I was NEVER trained to ask financial questions of a couple during premarital counseling. As it happens I have always been a budget conscious person and while we have not delved deeply into it I do require couples to begin discussing it counseling. I remind them that there are no right answers but that the sooner and more in depth they discuss budgeting the smoother this aspect of their marriage will be. I love this list of questions and will be printing it out and sticking it in my premarital folder. Thanks.

By: Minda

Minda — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 03:25:30 +0000

I’m surprised that there was no question about Tithing. My boyfriend and I have already had a misunderstanding about that and we’ve been in a long distance relationship for only 7 months. We both tithe, but we have very different philosophies on it.

By: Mary Lindquist

Mary Lindquist — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 16:51:14 +0000

I have a daughter that has gotten engaged and I am happy for them both. She is a Junior in college and he will do his internship until December of this year. They said it would be two years before they got married but I think they want to do it sooner. She is planning to go to med school and he has not looked for a job and may do his masters right away. Is it alright that we request that they do wait until he at least has a job and she knows what school she is going to end up. When he asked us for her hand he said he would follow her to a school. My real concern is the daily living cost that they really do not know of. He is also has some medical issues and will need to have insurance and right now they are both covered under our insurance. This also includes car insurance, monthly payments…….normal living. I do not want to be the mother- mother in law medler but I want them to have their eyes open. Can you give me some guidelines or suggestions.

By: Joe Plemon

Joe Plemon — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 22:25:49 +0000

Terry,

Maybe that liberal arts education hasn’t paid off, but I bet that if you could save that much money while still in high school, you could still be a great saver today.

By: Terry

Terry — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 20:34:29 +0000

The stupidest thing I’ve ever done with money is blow it on a liberal arts education.

I had earned and saved by high school graduation the equivalent in todays’s dollars of $25K and if I had never gone to college I could have turned that $25k into a decent sum.

By: Joe Plemon

Joe Plemon — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 22:19:24 +0000

Joseph,
Good stuff…I am impressed with the depth and intensity of your premarital counseling. Making FPU a requirement is a fabulous idea! Thanks for telling us about Wayne A. Mack’s workbook. My pastor has me do the financial part of the premarital counseling for those he is going to marry. I will need to check Mr. Mack’s financial questionnaire.

By: Joseph@ kickdebtoff

Joseph@ kickdebtoff — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 21:18:56 +0000

Great post Joe
Our pre-marital counselling was intense! and am glad we went through it. We had seperate financial counselling and we also had to take FPU as part of the counselling. It was an eye opener for both of us on the direction we were headed financially. When we were dating we used a marriage workbook “Preparing for Marriage God’s way” by Wayne A. Mack and it has great financial questionnaires.

By: Joe Plemon

Joe Plemon — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 21:01:16 +0000

Ken,
Isn’t it curious that premarital counseling would not include a financial aspect? Maybe pastors aren’t trained in that type of counseling.

I am thinking that if the couple did not get financial premarital counseling, a lot of these questions would help after they are already married. Like you said, “a great assignment to assess financial honesty and agreement.”