I recently had the privilege of meeting a man whom I immediately began to respect and admire. Albert (not his real name) is an 89-year-old widower who lives alone, drives his own car, and possesses a quick smile, a warm handshake, and a love of life. Each visit with Albert always leaves me looking forward to the next one, and I am proud to call him my friend.
Albert is quite transparent about his age; in fact, although it won’t occur until next June, he enjoys saying, “I will be 90 on my next birthday.”
The Great Depression
During a recent visit – being the math nerd that I am – I ran the numbers in my head and said, “So you must have been born in 1923. Right?” As he was nodding his head, I realized that he was a child during the Great Depression. ”Albert,” I ventured, “what was it like growing up during the Depression?”
“Well, Joe,” he smiled looking briefly at the ceiling, and continued, “I’ll tell you. We had a roof over our heads, but little else. I was nearly grown before we had running water, and, of course, I knew what it was like to visit the outhouse in the dead of winter.”
“Did you have enough food?”
“Oh yes. We kept livestock and a milk cow, and we always canned vegetables from the garden. Thinking back, I don’t believe we realized just how poor we were . . . probably because everyone else was going through the same thing.”
Not Knowing How to Spend
Albert eventually moved away from the farm, found work and earned a college degree. He made a good living, but his childhood memories implanted the life command of saving nearly every penny. He said, rather wistfully, “I knew how to save, but no one ever taught me how to spend.”
“Albert, let me ask . . . do you have regrets about not spending?”
He sat back in his easy chair and closed his eyes for a few seconds before responding, “Yes, Joe . . . I wish I would have learned to dance. I could easily have afforded to take dance lessons, but I never did.”
Wow. I am still digesting this. Albert wasn’t sorry about not buying a bigger house or driving newer cars. He had no regrets that he didn’t join the elite country clubs or wear designer clothes. He simply wished he could have learned to dance. When I asked him why, he seemed surprised: “Joe, my wife would have loved it.” Perhaps I should mention that Albert’s wife spent the last five years of her life in an Alzheimer’s care facility. You should also know that he was there to feed her every single meal for those five years.
Final Thoughts
Albert, a man who was never taught how to spend, is a rarity in today’s consumer-crazed world of spend, spend, and spend even more. But I see an irony here: 21st Century Americans may know how to buy stuff, but I question whether we know – really know – how to spend.
Will we reach the end of our lives regretting that we didn’t dance enough? I hope not.
Do you have friends or relatives who lived during the Great Depression? What do you learn from them? In what way will Albert’s story help you be a better spender?
{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you for sharing this story. It really touched me.
Rebekka — You’re welcome. It was fun to write.
Well that’s an itneresting idea — not knowing how to spend. You should tell him that even though his wife has passed, that he coudl still take dance lessons and learn. In her memory. And to keep himself young. You should interview this guy more — it’d be crazy to hear more about the Great Depression!
TB,
Not sure Albert has the stamina to do much dancing … a trip to Kroger just about wipes him out. But hey…I could still ask. And I would definitely like to learn more about his life and the Great Depression. Thanks for the nudge.
reflecting on how to spend……thank you
THANK YOU for this post! I appreciate the way it’s making me look at and think about my own life and while most of your posts do, this one as left me pondering how to make meaningful and thoughtful investments vs purchases.
Jennifer — Thank you for the encouraging words. Also…I like the way you differentiate between investments and purchases. By “investments” I assume you mean a purchase which has long term benefits (such as dance lessons) vs. a purchase which is simply buying stuff. Right?
I’ve asked my mother-in-law different things from when she was young – soon to be 81. She just started living with us about a year ago. One day she said she had no idea how to use the oven or washing machine. I thought that was odd, then realized what she meant. The oven and washing machine is all digital buttons to push and she has no idea how to use them. She can use a microwave fine but the oven & washing machine is a bit confusing. She uses our i-phones to talk to family but we always pull the phone number up and tell her to push the number with her finger. We are so used to computerized appliances and such that we never really think about an older person not knowing how to use this technology.
Joan — how interesting that people of different generations don’t “get” some of the newer technologies. One wonders what future gadgets our current generation won’t be able to understand.
What a walk down memory lane. I had grandparents who, too, lived through the Great Depression. They were not extremely wealthy, but they were certainly not broke. It wasn’t until they were in their 70s that they got air-conditioning (and that was a window unit), and spending money on clothes was basically out of the question.
Of course, that’s part of the reason they were not broke, but they never figured out how to spend money.
Adam — The story of the air conditioner explains why your grandparents weren’t broke. I bet they always lived on less than they made…something today’s generation has no concept of.
My parents were born in 1919 & 1920, and Dad said the same thing about not realizing they were poor because everyone else was going thru the same thing. It wasn’t until he said “you don’t know what poor is until your Sunday dinner is a plate of lima beans” that I realized just how bad it truly was for all who lived during the Depression. Now this was coming from a man who didn’t regal us with stories about the struggles they experienced. When he or Mom would tell us stories about growing up, everything was always said in a matter-of-fact way. That is just how it was, accept it, deal with it, and move on. Both my parents came from well-to-do upper middle class families judging from the pictures of their very very early youth. And both families lost everything — my father’s family home went to foreclosure and my mom’s mother had to sell her wedding & engagement rings to feed her children. There was much more info obtained over the years. Yet, not once did I ever hear out of either of their mouths anything related to poor-poor me. In fact, their stories always always accentuated the positives of friendship, family, and laughter.
However, unlike Albert, my parents did learn how to spend. But spend only in their retirement because they sacrificed so much until then. And they were content without a mound of material items. Dad passed away 6 years ago, and Mom was left with enough to pay for any care she might need. Care she WILL need soon as she had moderate to advanced dementia. Yet, neither had any regrets about not spending & living life, though they did sacrifice as well.
I, on the other hand, only paid attention to the save save save part. And I have to learn to not sacrifice the present for a future that might not happen. Thank you for this story, it hits home & close to my heart. I look forward to any future articles you might have regarding Albert’s experiences … and any others of your’s as well.
Thanks Kathy, for sharing the story of your parents. I am not sure what future articles may result from my friendship with Albert, but I will keep my ears open. By the way, I asked his permission to write this story, but he didn’t read it until it was published, at which time he called me and told me that he likes it very much. He also asked me when I was going to come over to visit. Hmmm. I think opportunity is knocking.
Great article!!!
Wow….Touching indeed. My grandma is almost 90 and I must say her life was the exact opposite of Albert. She really did spend and dance. To the young ones, this is the time to enjoy life. Great article!
Yaw — Just curious: did your grandma grow up in America? If so, how do you think the Great Depression affected her? By the way, she sounds delightful!
Thank you for writing this article, Joe. It was a great article of a man who gained such a wonderful perspective in the wake of such a troubling economic period. Albert and his wife as well as Kathy’s parents did not feel sorry for themselves and wanted no pity party for their circumstances. They learned to do what Paul that Apostle said in Phillipians 4:11-13, which is to be content under the circumstances. They faced trials of many kinds and found joy and peace. This generation could learn a great deal from individuals such as Albert. I pray that I would have close to the same mindset and spirit that Albert has.
Andre — I, like you, would hope to have the same mindset as Albert if and when trials come my way. Could I (like the Apostle Paul) be content regardless of my circumstances? I suppose I will learn when those times come, but it is good knowing people like Albert who have walked the walk.
My mother is 87 and grew up during the depression. Because they didn’t have much of anything when she was growing up, being the youngest of 9, she thinks if 1 of something is good, 10 is better. She doesn’t like to get rid of anything. It is interesting to hear how other people adapted that grew up in the same ers. Most of the depression babies I have encountered have a similar mentality to my mom, keeping things “just in case I need it”.
Nan — I am not surprised. Your mother, like Albert and many others who have lived through the Great Depression, has a deeply seated value of saving. I am happy to report that Albert is going to treat himself to a new recliner this year … he needs it.
Just got a chance to read this, so:
My parents were born in 1918 and 1920, and my husband’s parents were born in 1912 and 1913. They had vivid memories of the stock market crash and the depression — both sets of parents got married during the depression. My parents never spent a penny more than they had to and denied themselves often; they never made a lot of money, which reinforced that attitude. My husband’s parents had very, very few wants, but when they felt something was worth spending on, they would do so, because they made good money as adults and could afford some things, which meant my husband and I were raised with different attitudes on spending. Both sets, however, never trusted the stock market after witnessing ’29, and absolutely preached against investing in it.
Their stories of the depression were sometimes sad, often wryly humorous, and sometimes admonitory, but like others, they had fond memories of family and friends. They were definitely marked by what they lived through, though, and their goal was to see their children and grandchildren have better lives than they had.
JD — I love the fact that you and your husband have been so close to your parents. Those conversations with them about the Depression, the stock market crash and their other childhood memories are invaluable, not only in helping you understand what made them tick, but also in understanding your own values. Also…I am sure your parents appreciated the opportunity to share these things with their children. Thanks for sharing!
My dad, born in 1914 and lost his sole benefactor during the Depression in South Africa. At this he lost the means he would have had to go to university. He started work as a civil servant and his desire for his three children was that even if he died poor, that his children would have the highest education they could achieve. My brothers and I achieved bachelor degrees during his life. I went on to get a Masters after he died. And believe in a lifestyle and savings that will enable my kids to achieve their highest education.
Thank you for a wonderful article. I am in my early 50′s and remember seeing an old pay stub of my father’s and was amazed at how little he made during the 60′s and 70′s, supporting a family of 6. We were not monetary rich, but definitely rich in family. As most people have experienced, I didn’t feel deprived of anything, yet never really felt the need for much either. To this day, I try to live by that standard, within my means with God’s grace. Thank you again.
Good article. It seems like these days if you turn on the TV, all you see ads for is to buy stuff you don’t need. I hate that whenever my son watches cartoons, they have commercials for all these new toys and he wants them all. I try to explain to him that we don’t need to buy it, and he should be happy with what he has. Luckily he doesn’t watch too much TV.